Why is There a Little Blue Box in the Common Room?
by fortheloveofsemicolons
Summary: It was about a month before the end of term when the little blue box appeared in the Gryffindor common room. Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover.
1. Chapter 1

It was about a month before the end of term when the little blue box appeared in the Gryffindor common room.

Remus Lupin looked up from his parchment; Sirius didn't notice because he was sleeping (and snoring). Although Remus suspected that even if he had been awake, he wouldn't have noticed a thing.

"Scotland, 1977!" a man said in a fascinated voice from inside. The door opened: he was standing with his back facing Remus. "A bunch of ruins that I've heard are some of the spookiest ruins anyone has ever seen. Well, besides me, of course." The man had very tall hair, Remus thought, and is he wearing a trench coat with converse? There was a red haired woman inside the box (although, now that Remus was looking, the inside looked a bit bigger than it should) too. She was staring at Remus.

"What?" the man said. "Don't you like it?" He turned around. Remus didn't phase him. "Oh, hello!" he said, striding out of the box towards Remus, as jolly (a word Remus usually reserved for Santa Claus or Dumbledore, but it seemed to fit this man) as ever. "I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend Donna Noble. Nice place you've got here." He stuck out his hand.

Remus shook it. "Er. I'm Remus. Lupin. Remus Lupin. And this is my friend Sirius, er, Black, but he's sleeping so he can't shake your hand. I mean, obviously." Remus jabbed Sirius's ear. Sirius snorted and flopped onto the floor. "He's really very impossible to wake up. Sleeps like a dog, ha ha."

The Doctor smiled. This man smiles a lot, thought Remus. "So where are we exactly?" the Doctor's friend Donna asked.

"Well." Remus said. "Er. Scotland, yeah, 1977."

"So you did go to the right place!" said Donna to the Doctor. "He never does," she mock whispered to Remus.

"You're not helping," the Doctor told Donna. "Yes, but aren't there ruins here?"

"Er. No? I mean, that was sort of a pointless question, sorry, Doctor."

"Yes. He's clever!" the Doctor told Donna. "You're clever!"

"Well, no, I was just stating the obvious," Remus said. "I just study a lot so I don't fail my classes. My friends are the clever ones. They never study. And they made a map. I mean, well, I helped, but it was their idea."

"So what is this place, again?" the Doctor asks, unperturbed by Remus's ramblings.

"Oh. Er. This room?" Remus couldn't decide if he could trust the Doctor. For one, he didn't seem like a Muggle (he randomly appeared in a little blue box), but he obviously hadn't heard of Hogwarts before. Remus didn't know what to make of him.

"Yeah, let's start with that."

Remus opened his mouth to speak right when Sirius let out a giant snort. Remus, overtaken by the stress of possibly telling the whole Muggle world about wizards and the nervousness that always comes with being questioned, started laughing hysterically.

"Look at that," Donna muttered to the Doctor, "you've made him go mad!"

"I haven't made him go mad," the Doctor scorned. "I just want to know why he won't tell us where we are!"

"Maybe we're at an asylum," Donna said. "Just my luck, as always."

"No, we're at a school," the Doctor said, reaching into his pocket. Remus had stopped laughing at this point.

"How did you know that?" Remus asked incredulously. "And what's that?"

"I'm the Doctor, I'm very clever. And this is a sonic screwdriver."

"Oh, but electronics don't work here..." Remus said quietly enough that the Doctor couldn't hear him; he found the idea of the Doctor being confused very amusing, for some reason. Donna, however, heard him. She didn't say anything, though. Remus thought he was getting rather fond of Donna.

The Doctor held his screwdriver out to the air and pressed a button. Nothing happened. "What?"

"What's the matter, Doctor?" Donna asked. "Screwdriver not working?"

"No," the doctor whacked the screwdriver, "it's just," whack," acting a little," whack, "wonky," whack. Nothing happened.

The Doctor looked around wildly at the red and gold of the common room. His eyes were wild, big, his mouth was slightly open and his tongue was curved forward and touching the roof of his mouth. It looked odd but strangely attractive at the same time. "He does this when he can't figure something out," Donna told Remus. "Come on, Doctor, let's focus on asking the boys questions, hmm?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll get the sleeping one. Sirius, you said his name is?" Remus nodded. "Okay, and Donna, you can talk to Remus."

Remus sighed. Sirius was horrible at keeping secrets especially when he's just woken up. "We're at Hogwarts, it's a school, like you said. This is the Gryffindor common room."

Donna and the Doctor stared at him. "Why wouldn't tell us this before? And why won't my screwdriver work?"

Another sigh. "You should come with me." Remus bent down and shook Sirius. "Sirius, you great useless ball of fur, wake up!"

"Why'm I on the floor?" Sirius said groggily after he opened his eyes. He sat up and looked at the Doctor and Donna. "Hey, who's that? And what's that telephone box doing in the common room?"

"That's the Doctor and that's Donna. We're going to take them to see the headmaster." He bent down and whispered in Sirius's ear, "I think they're Muggles." He helped Sirius up and they turned to face the two newcomers. "Follow us," Remus said.


	2. Chapter 2

"Did we just come out of a portrait?" the Doctor asked. He had wonder in his voice. Sirius was reminded of his first time at Hogwarts (well, not him so much because he was so used to it, but of some of the other first years). It was strange to see a full grown man in such wonder.

Sirius heard Remus sigh. They both turned around. The Doctor was looking at the Fat Lady with glee. He reached into his pocked and pulled out... well, Sirius didn't know what it was. It was a metallic looking... thing. Remus could describe it better.

"What's that?" the Fat Lady asked, shrinking to the side of her frame. "Don't touch me with that! I'll scream!" The Doctor and Donna looked at each other.

"Oh, that's brilliant!" the Doctor said.

"Did that portrait just _talk_?" Donna asked Remus.

"Yeah, that's the fat lady. She sings really loud," Sirius said. He had a feeling that Remus and the two Muggles had been talking before he had woken up, and he wanted them to know that he could talk too! It was stupid, he understood this, yes, but _he couldn't help himself_.

"That's fascinating!" the Doctor said, lifting his metal thing.

"Don't even bother," Donna said. "Your screwdriver doesn't work here, remember?"

"Oh yeah." The Doctor pointed in the direction of Sirius. "You... Sirius, wasn't it?"

Sirius nodded. Couldn't Remus have woken him up earlier? He can never talk well when he's first woken up.

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm the Doctor."

"Well that's rather vague, innit?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius, just leave it!" Remus told him.

"No, it's okay. Yes, it is very vague, good observation," the Doctor said. Sirius felt like an idiot. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut from now on.

"Alright, that's enough, mister know it all!" Donna barged forward. "I'm Donna Noble. I travel with this smart arse." She stuck out her hand.

Now _this_ he could deal with. "Why hello, Donna Noble. I'm Sirius Black. _Very_ nice to meet you." He took her hand and kissed it.

"How old are you?" she asked sort of indignantly with a slight blush. Sirius just winked.

"_Sirius_," Remus warned. Oh, bullocks, he's angry, Sirius thought.

"I was only saying hello!" Sirius told him and swung an arm around Remus's shoulders. "Come on. Don't be mad at me, you know I can't stand it when you're mad at me. I'll die!"

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic," Remus said. "I'm not mad at you. Can we just go see Dumbledore now?"

"Typical," Sirius heard Donna whisper not so discretely to the Doctor once they started their hike. "I should probably just give up ever finding a man."

"Probably," the Doctor agreed.

"You're not supposed to agree with me, you stupid Time Lord!" she pointed out. "You'd think with all this traveling, you would have learned some sort of chivalry, but no, of course not!"

Remus whipped around nearly causing a collision. "Excuse me for barging in," he stated, not sorry at all, "but Time Lord?"

"Why won't my screwdriver work?" was the retort. This man was sure caught up on his screwdriver.

Remus groaned softly. "Why does your screwdriver need electricity in the first place?"

The Doctor said nothing. They were quiet for a little while after that.

The Doctor broke the silence. "This place really is beautiful."

"Yeah," Remus said warmly, "it really is." Sirius didn't need to look at Remus to see the smile on his face, but he did anyway. "We only have a term left here," Remus said. "I can't imagine not coming back next year." He looked up examining the architecture and promptly tripped over a stair.

"Just a couple more flights and we'll be there," Sirius made aware to Donna and the Doctor.

Sirius and Remus stepped over the fake stair. The Doctor, curious as ever, asked why.

"Nothing," Sirius made up. "Just a silly superstition. Come on, then." He looked over at Remus who, being the moral paragon that he is, rolled his eyes like he didn't think this was The Right Thing To Do. But Sirius saw the smile in his eyes.

Donna went right ahead and sunk. "Oh my God! It's eating my leg!"

The Doctor automatically, as if it was a reflex, got onto his knees and started looking at and touching the stair. It was apparently solid under his hands. Sirius wondered why nobody else had ever bothered to see if they could touch it with their hands, but he supposed it just never occurred to them.

"That's brilliant! What technology did you use?" the Doctor asked.

"Uh. I didn't make it," Sirius said. Remus went to help Donna out of the stair.

"No, of course not, but-" the Doctor was interrupted when the hallway suddenly went dark. The torches were out, and there wasn't a sun nor a star in the sky.

"Oh my God, what did you do?" Donna yelled to nobody in particular.

"Well now," the Doctor whispered. "That's interesting. Does your school do this commonly?"

"No," Remus said. "It's never done this before. We should go back to the common room."

"Aw," the Doctor said, "come on. Let's go see, shall we?"

"See what, exactly?" Remus asked. His voice got a little higher. Sirius groped around before finding his hand and held it. Remus gripped it harder than necessary.

"The cause of the darkness, of course! Let's go!"

"Yeah, Moony, it can't be anything too bad, right? The wards would protect us from that. It's just a little fun. And it's not like you'll be late for any classes."

Remus sighed a dramatic sigh. "Fine, but if I get killed, I'll be haunting you, Sirius Black."

"And I look forward to it," Sirius grinned.

"So how are we going to get around," Donna asked. "Your screwdriver doesn't work," she told the Doctor, "and I doubt either of you have flashlights. And I am not going to risk falling into one of those stairs again."

"Oh," Sirius said, pulling out his wand. "Didn't we mention? We're wizards."

"Lumos!" he and Remus yelled at the same time, their wands lighting up the corridor. The Doctor and Donna stared at them.

"No. Way." Donna yelled. "You- but that's impossible!"

"Nah," the Doctor said. "I mean, I knew that witches existed, but I thought... the last time I met one was after I met Shakespeare- nice bloke- and they were all double double toil and trouble! But you two don't seem like that. But maybe witchcraft and wizardry has evolved since then... anyway, let's go. Before it ends!" He strode off in the direction of the entrance.

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances and swiftly followed him.


End file.
